Category Archives: Testimony

Fear vs Faith


I was raised to be scared of spiders. In fact, I was raised to be scared of any creepy crawly. In the house where I grew up, there was a can of insecticide in every room, with spare full ones in the kitchen. Whatever moved in that house, got killed. My mother was scared of spiders and she passed that fear on to me. For years, I freaked out at any insect. I couldn’t stand it. As a family, we still laugh at an incident a few years back, when a large black cricket decided to walk up the right leg of my pants. When I felt the movement, I was out of my pants before I could think about it. It just happened. That fear inside of me was far greater than the fear of having people see me standing in my underwear. Imagine that.

My husband however, has no fear. He picks the insects up and relocates then outside. I wanted to be like him. I wanted to overcome my fear of insects and spiders. It took a lot of hard work on my side, and a lot of patience on his side. Today, I can honestly say, my fear is gone. I now have a pet spider. And meal worms that I can pick up with my fingers to feed them to the bearded dragons. I have overcome my fear and I am very proud of it.

Meet Sarah, my pet spider.


Why am I blogging about this? Fear is debilitating. And I firmly believe that fear, attracts exactly the things we fear, to us. Job said: “what I feared most, has overcome me”.

Fear is the direct opposite to faith, in all dimensions of our lives. I wasn’t only raised to be scared of spiders, I was also raised to be a racist. Racism is nothing but fear. We fear people who look different, dress different, speak different, all of that for no logical reason whatsoever. As a young adult, I started attending an english, charismatic church. And I soon learned that people of other cultures, are not bad just because they have a different skin colour than me. I learned that they too, are real people. People who love. People who laugh. People who cry. There were people in that church, of a different skin colour, who shared my love for music. Soon, they became my friends. Without them even knowing, they helped me to overcome my fear of people from another culture. Without them even knowing, they helped me to overcome racism.

Everything we were taught as kids, are not necessarily correct. Our parents are/were after all just human too. Humans fighting their own fears, and sometimes, not winning. As an adult, you have the responsibility to decide for yourself. You will not be judged one day on what your mother taught you; you will be judged by your own words, your own actions, your own beliefs, and yes, your own fears.

Today I want to bring honour to Babalo and Charmaine. Without them even knowing, they brought healing to my fearful soul. They were part of my journey, to conquer racism, to conquer my fear of anybody different from myself.


I dare you to start facing your fears, whatever it may be. Living with fear isn’t nice. I can attest to that. Living without fear, is liberating to say the least.


Ask, Believe, Receive….. not necessarily


After months of silence, finally a new blog post. I just HAVE to write this blog this morning, I just HAVE to.

I have sat through months, yes months, of sermons on the same topic. Ask, belief that you have received, confess positively, and you will receive it. This teaching is all based on this one verse:

Mark 11:24  I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.

If this didn’t happen the way the preacher promised it would, there was surely something wrong with your faith. I am sure you know exactly what I am talking about. Many Christians feel like failures as their lives simply didn’t turn out the way the preacher promised. They asked, they believed, they proclaimed, they claimed it in the name of Jesus, they did it all – and nothing came to pass. I know of some Christians who completely lost hope because of this. Some felt like the black sheep in the family of God. Some just gave up. All because of a teaching based on ONE verse in the Bible, without taking anything else into account.

1 John 5:14-15 And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us: And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him.

A few years ago, I applied for a job. My prayer to God was simple: if it was His will that I move into a new company and a new career, I should get the job. If it wasn’t His will, I shouldn’t get the job. Simple as that. I didn’t ask for the new job. I asked for His will to be done. I got the job and my current employer came with a very good counter offer. They could not understand it when I turned the counter offer down. My old job was close to my home and my salary would far succeed the salary at the new job, which was quite a drive from my home. If I chose to stay, and accepted the counter offer, it would have meant that money was more important to me, that being in the will of God. I moved into a new career, and the experience gained there, is what made it possible for me, to have my online shop today. I would not have been able to do it, had it not been for the experience gained in two years at the new company.

Last week my husband and I applied for financing for a new vehicle. Our prayer was simple: if this is the right vehicle for us to buy, at the right time, we should get financing from our own bank. If this was not the right vehicle and the right time, the financing should be refused. The financing was refused, for the simple reason that my husband is self-employed – he consults on contract, and in a couple of month’s time, his current contract will expire. The bank sees this as a risk. We cannot negotiate any new contract until the old one has ended. Are we upset? No. We know that God’s will is being done. We will get the right vehicle, at the right time. Are we now going to try all the other banks to get financing? No. That would be unbelief.

This is one of the most difficult lessons to learn as a Christian. We are trained by preachers to ask, actually demand, and then just believe that God will do whatever we ask for. Yes, I know God wants to bless His children. He wants us to be happy and healthy. But sometimes, the things we ask, are not the best He wants to bless us with. God is more interested in our character than in our well-being overall.

I firmly believe our trust in God was tested through this simple little thing. Trusting God for His will to be done, is true faith. Believing that God will do whatever you ask, is not faith. Faith is holding on to God, still believing that He is giving us what is best for us, even when we don’t understand our circumstances and the things that happen.

Stop demanding from God with the ‘ask, believe and receive’ teaching. Start looking for the will of God in your life – ALL areas of your life. Ask for direction in simple ways such as we did, and accept that whatever happens, is God’s will at that moment. You will be blessed. Trust me. God has never failed us. Never. I could have chosen money, it would have cost me living my dream today. God sees the full picture of your entire life, you only see today. Seek the will of God in your life more than anything else. It is worth it.

My life is awesome. And yours?


I haven’t blogged for quite a while. And I totally forgot to post the updates on my second round of #100awesomedays. Simply because my life is so awesome that I don’t have much spare time! God is blessing us exceedingly, abundantly, above anything we could have asked or imagined – see Ephesians 3:20. In this past year I have seen this verse come to life, literally. But we paid a price for our dreams to come true. A small price really. All it took was faith and positive confessions. That’s it. We took God on His word. We asked, we believed and we received.

It wasn’t easy at first to stop speaking negatively. Most people are in the habit of negative confessions. We are surrounded by negativity every day. That is all the media has to offer us. Bad news and negativity. If you want to change your life, you have to change what comes out of your mouth. I have blogged on this so many times before and I know I will blog on it many times in the future. Life and death is in the power of the tongue. What you say you will get.

This morning I had a customer in my shop. Sick, crippled and despondent. I wanted to pray for her – she didn’t want prayer. What poured out of her mouth was a truckload full of negativity. She listed all her diseases, all the diseases in her family and the diseases she is waiting to get. Guess what? She will get it all. That is what she is proclaiming and that is what will be. I felt so sad.

Change your words. Change your life. All it takes it faith and positive speaking.