Who are we really?


I remember it as if it happened yesterday. My daughter was in her final school year and the matric farewell was drawing near. She came home from a weekend with her father, with her matric farewell dress in her hands. I was devastated. Her stepmother decided to buy the the dress without any prior discussion with me. I was angry. Very angry. So angry that I ranted for more than 20 minutes. I ranted because a privilege was taken from me, the privilege of going through the whole dress hunting experience with my daughter. I felt neglected. I felt worthless. And all those emotions fueled my anger towards a point where I was screaming and swearing at my daughter.

Did it make any difference? No.

I was painfully reminded of that day today.

We place so much value on ourselves. We want to get credit. We want to be respected. We want to be treated fairly. We want to be obeyed. We want to be served. We like our positions in society. We like our status symbols. We need to be needed and we want to be wanted. And it doesn’t always happen. People fail us. Children disobey us. Spouses misunderstand us. People lie to us. People cheat us. People compare us to others. People belittle us. And then? A volcano of anger erupts. Just like my volcano that night, many years ago.

We place our own self worth so high that we forget about the people we are dealing with. We shoot words like bullets, intending to hurt and damage. We carelessly fling statements that tear hearts apart. All because things did not go our way. And afterwards? Long after the tantrum, the words linger in the hearts of the hurt.

Getting angry is not a sin. What you do and say while you are angry, is another story.

I can never undo what I did that night. My daughter will always remember the beauty of her matric farewell along with the bitter of my anger.

Ephesians 4:26 “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.

Control your anger.


2 responses »

  1. Yes I agree. I have realized this weekend that my girls are so impressionable at the ages that they are, that I need to watch my reactions to things that happen. I ask our Heavenly Father to help so that my motto – everyone must be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry – are a reality in my life…


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