For years I have been wresting with this question: “What in my day-to-day doing, has eternity value?” Every time I had to face the sore truth of the answer: “Very little”. If you have been following this blog for a long time, you will remember the posts where I was lamenting this problem. At times I stopped blogging for long periods – it was in those times that I wrestled with God and myself, never finding the one thing I was looking for. Eternity Value. I wanted to know I was adding value to life in such a way that it would count for something in eternity. I wanted more than just a day-job. I wanted more than just church on Sundays. I knew the WHAT but I couldn’t find the HOW (I am a business analyst…. I deal with the WHAT daily and fight about the HOW even more – if it doesn’t make sense to you, don’t worry.
Here are some of the posts I wrote on this issue – in case you want to back track a bit before you continue reading.
2013 was quite a year. It was a roller-coaster of emotions for me. Though I lacked nothing physically, I was not content at all. I was constantly seeking, constantly wrestling, constantly searching for something I could not define. I am extremely grateful that my husband stood by me through all of this. As I look back now, I can see the hand of God in all of this. I became more and more restless as the year progressed. I questioned everything more and more as the year progressed. Today I realise that God was moving me out of my comfort zone – I just didn’t know it at the time.
So here I am at the start of 2014. The start of a totally new way of living. For the first time in my entire life, I am really going to add eternity value to life. I finally found what I was searching for. It’s so exciting that it takes my breath away at times. I cannot stop child abuse in our country, but I can protect the one girl God entrusted to us. I cannot give every person in South Africa a second chance at life, but I can home-school her and give her a chance at life. I cannot touch and empower every woman in South Africa, but I can touch and empower some women around Hartbeespoort with the community project I am launching next year.
I am looking forward to a year filled with things that have eternity value. I cannot describe in words what it feels like. The best part of it all? My husband will be in this with me, boots and all (pardon the pun for those who know…. lol).
I am blessed. All the bad decisions I made in my life do not matter to me anymore. God has taken it all, and worked it together for my good, to finally bring me to the purpose He called me for! What a testimony!
Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
My you too find a deeper sense of life in 2014!